"You now have 3 ovaries."

"I've placed an extra one, to be sure" my Hugh Grant look-a-like gyno joked a few hours after the surgery (when I was recuperating in my private room, hooray) .

He was referring to my plea for my ovary (wouldn't that make an excellent book title? it has a nice ring to it), seconds before I went to a nice long sleep. I knew that with the size of the cyst that had to be removed it was a possibility that (part of) my ovary had to be removed. Not willing to loose any fertility just yet, I could not help but ask him this one more favor. And his answer to that was "We're going to save that ovary."

After his reassuring words, I visualized my husband, my two adorable children and myself on a Hawaiian beach (a beach we've actually spend some time on during our honeymoon) and I dosed of with that wonderful image. And with that exact thought I woke up.

The surgery took 1.5 hours (twice as long as expected). But 'Hugh' did his thing. He removed the cyst with a Laparoscopic surgery. He was willing to try it, even though he admitted a lot of gynecologists would not attempt removing such a big cyst with a minimally invasive surgery.

The best thing? The relieve. Not just that I still have both my ovaries, but the relieve it's over. I had developed a unclimbable mountain of irrational surgery fears. Unable to overcome my fears, this was by far the most stressful ordeal I have ever experienced. Dying during this surgery was a realistic thing, according to my normally so positive mind.

Recuperating from this comes easy to me. After the surgery I did have very low blood pressure for a couple of hours which caused me to be dizzy every time I attempted to get up. But now I feel relatively great. The wonderful thing is: I have zero pain. Of course I am tired, I feel bruised and I spend most my hours in bed (as ordered by the nurses) watching Discovery Channel. But at least I can tell you how to scrape sweat tissue from a rhino and how to build the tallest elevator system in the world. How useful!

My loving husband is running our family. He's taking excellent care of me and the children. I've married the best friend, lover and daddy.

And best of all?

I stopped thinking I am at the end of my (fertile) life. I stopped looking at my kids with the fear of never seeing them grow up. I stopped looking at my husband, hoping he'll find a new wife and mommy for his kids soon.

For a minor surgery my mind created some major fears.

But I do think I'll enjoy life even more because of it.