There's a first time for everything

"I'm going to run tonight" I said to my husband after we brought the children to bed.

He looked surprised. As I normally try to avoid any running. Or any exercise for that matter. He (the husband) does occasianly run. He even has a special "outfit" that he wears while running. The kind that makes me giggle because the pants are quite tight. I grin. Being 12 is bliss.

"But you have to explain to me how I should run," I explain "because I have NEVER run.. you know for the sake of running." I look serious at my husband, because I suspect he thinks I'm joking.

So he's like a pro, and I had to find my *gear* from everywhere in the house. The shoes I couldn't find, I figured I'd run on my All Stars. A tight sportive white shirt (which I literally have had over TEN years)... and my yoga pants which I have not used for yoga in about 4 years, but has been a blessing during and after pregnancies because yoga pants tend to ssssstttttttrrrrrrreeeeeecccccccchhhhhhhh.

The iPod I could find.

So my husband gave me a brief instruction on how to stretch and so on.

I turned on the iPod, squeezed it under the top band of my panties and went running.

When I walk, my hair dances a bit. And so did it when I started. Dance, dance, dance. It makes me feel very sexy. Step, step, step, dance, dance. I could be in a Nike commercial.

A fellow runner passed me. We exchange smiles. I'm a pro. We runners are so polite.

Soon I wanted to hear another song, and found out the cord of my earphones were in a tight hug with the band of my panties. Great. Idea. Nadine. After I rescued my iPod and turned on another song (and held it in my hand for the rest of "The Run"), I felt tired.

Seriously, what did I run? 300 meters?

I saw a little park & playground and used it to stretch (and to rest, but I did not want anyone to think I NEEDED a rest). I was EXHAUSTED! It couldn't have been more than 500 meters between my house and the park. But oh well.

The stretching was good, it helped me catch my breath. Back to running (mind you, I was going so slow, I bet runners wouldn't even refer to it as running). By this time my mouth is open and I'm breathing heavy (if I ever need to addition for a porn movie, I have to remember to breath like that when I audition).

Now apparently at this time there are many mini mosquitos and flies in the park (I am such a fan of nature and wilderness and animals and green stuff and bugs, can't you tell?). I see them (probably passed out by the impact) on my white shirt and I feel they crash into my face. Before one decides to be my second dessert (dessert? probably not a good idea before running), I close my mouth.

Another stretching break.

Run a few more minutes.

OK, where does this saliva come from?

And OUCH. ALLStars are great (to look at), but not for running.

Another rest strechting break.

I decide to go home. Run.

More saliva. Seriously, what do you do? I never see runners spit or anything. Swallow.

Nauseous. "I HAVE to make it home," I think.

I think I may have turned purple.

But after a whooping total 20 minutes I knock on the window of my house. And when my husband gets up to open the door, I use my last bit of energy to lift the corners of my mouth. I smile.

I actually feel quite good.