Caption Time!

Come on, make me smile!

Joe Millionaire in wooden shoes

Ever seen someone you know appear in a reality show?

Thursday evening I got home from school a bit early. I cuddled on the couch with Mr. Sweety and we talked about our day. In the background the television plays, silently. The first episode of the Dutch version of Joe Millionaire is on; “Danny the Millionaire”. What happened to Joe???

In a moment of silence I turn my head to watch it for a bit. Right before the commercial break I see a face I recognize. And than it’s gone.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY!!
Me: That figures.
Me: If I were to pick any girl I’ve met in my life so far that I thought was gonna join the Joe Millionaire, I’m sure I’d picked her.
Me: Slut
Me: OMG
Me: I hope she wins. LOL!
Me: That is SO her.
Me: Can’t believe it.
Me: Yes I can.
Me: OMG
Me: Slut

Mr. Sweety: Ehm?

Me: You know her too!
Me: She went to the same university. Same year.
Me: At an introduction camp she practically screwed everything with a penis.

Mr. Sweety (who was at that same camp): She did look a bit familiar. It wasn’t me.

Me: ?
Me: She even took a guy in the ladies tent on camp. While we were trying to sleep, they were.. ehm not.

When the commercials were over, the show went on. The first elimination round. I’m hoping he picks the girl we know but who’s name we can’t remember… The “Millionaire” was to give about 10 necklaces to the girls. When he had given 8 of them…

Me: I KNOW it!
Me: If he picks her, and her name is Manon, it’s HER
Mr. Sweety: Oh okay

Danny the Millionaire: And last, I choose “Manon”.

Me: HA!
Me: I SO knew it.
Me: Slut.

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!

Since last Thursday I’m marked “difficult employee”. Why? My need for justice has gone beyond the point where most would say: “Oh fuck it, I’ll just look for another job.”

I had another meeting with my “manager” about the raise I was once promised but never got. He was a total asshole. Did I say asshole? Asshole is too nice to describe him.

I wrote a whole post . Deleted it. Wrote it again. Deleted it. He isn’t worth it. Any letter or word written on the issue is too much.

He’s not only that way to me. He has pulled things like that with every person in our department. That doesn’t make things better. It causes chaos. Revolution hopefully.

It took me up until today to put things in perspective. I probably won’t be working for him for many months years. There are more important things in my life; my life with FreezeM, our future plans, our hopes, our dreams, our upcoming trip to the US. LIKING the job is more important than the money. I HAVE a job. That’s a lot in this economy.

Although today a faint smile could be detected on my face at work again, I still feel slightly rebellious. Because, I’m going to file an official complaint, and by doing that an independent commission is to be set up. Other people within the organisation are going to judge his decision.

If that doesn’t work, I’ll just leave it, but right now? I’m just screaming for justice.

And while normally strikes, like the ones happening in The Netherlands right now, don’t have my approval (I’m more the “just do your freakin’ work already” kind), I’m now joining them. Silently.

Strike strike strike! REVOLUTION!!!! HIS HEAD! WE WANT HIS HEAD!

And by this I will overcome my grand grand grand grand GRAND parents who left France to escape the evil Napoleon before the revolution even started...

Caption Time!

I'm a bit ashamed I haven't posted for a whole week. I'll update soon, I promise! Now write me a funny caption & make me laugh:

Caption Time!

and NO I did NOT drug our cat to post for this picture

Pee me up Scotty!

The toilet repair man finally came on Saturday. He brought us a ‘new’ toilet. Except, it clearly wasn’t a NEW toilet.

Before I go on about this, (hopefully LAST) chapter in the ‘Toilet chronicles’, I have to explain something about Dutch toilet pots. Original Dutch toilets pots don’t just have a big hole filled with water; they have a little ceramic shelf in the pot. It ‘catches’ your droppings before you flush them. Why would one want a ‘shelf’ like that in the toilet pot? Well apparently we like to admire our droppings. Drop art! Where do you think Van Gogh got his inspiration???!!

Most tourists get disgusted by having to look at their droppings. Dutch don’t even realise they have funny pots.

Anyways, we used to have a ‘normal’ toilet, with a big hole, filled with water. I was disappointed to see that the Toilet Repair man brought us a Dutch pot.

After the toilet guy left, we went to check out our new potty. Disgusted we were when we saw it wasn’t a NEW toilet. It was not only slightly dirty, a GIANT black spot seated on the shelf. I wasn’t so much a spot, it looked more like a hole. A black hole. Like an opening to the intergalactic highway kind of black hole. In our freakin’ toilet.

(really I should lay back on that wine)

We’re positive people; we immediately realized we no longer needed to flush our toilet. Our droppings would just disappear from the toilet and reappear into another dimension. An innocent alien would be watching ‘Earth; fantasy or best kept galactic secret’ when suddenly... And hey, wouldn’t anyone secretly like that idea? GET THIS SUCKERSSS.

Ehm. Okay, anyway, the black hole was also kind of disturbing and embarrassing. I could just imagine our friends using the toilet, suddenly screaming because E.T. popped out the hole, landing with galactic speed somewhere between their legs. Followed by the M.I.B. of course.

The black hole had to go.

We got ALL our cleaning products out. When the regular stuff didn’t do anything we got the ones with the little “flame” warning sign on the side. We almost killed ourselves with the clouds of toxic air but the black hole (or stain) wasn’t going anywhere. Add that to Einstein’s theory. Black holes are to stay.

After HOURS minutes of scrubbing the toilet, Mr. Sweety got a bright idea. He got the only cleaning product out the kitchen we didn’t use: the biodegradable cleanser. (BECAUSE I thought that wouldn’t work on black holes. DUH)

The black hole magically disappeared. Mr. Sweety is nominated to get cleaner of the year award.

We finally got a normal, flushing toilet again! WITHOUT alien gateways.

(to order a bottle of this super cleanser call 1800-SWEETY_CLEANYOBLACKHOLE)

To go. To go? To go.

Some people make my brains hurt. STOP IT!

Toilet pot repair man on the phone
Repair man: HUH
Me: This is Sweety.
Repair man: HUH
Me: You were supposed to come by yesterday to install a new toilet.
Repair man: I didn’t make it.
Me: Obvious.
Repair man: I’ll come tomorrow.
Me: What time?
Repair man: Morning or afternoon.
Me: Morning or afternoon?
Repair man: Morning or afternoon.
Me: Morning OR afternoon?
Repair man: When you don’t see me in the morning, I’ll come in the afternoon.
Me: Oh fuck it.

Today @ Burger King
Me: I’d like one coke & whopper to go.
Burger King lady: To go?
Me: To go.

My ‘manager’
Me: Do you have a minute?
Manager: *his usual amazed expression*
Me: I noticed some confidential files on your desk. While you were out for the day.
Me: Maybe you should not leave confidential files for everyone to read. People do walk in and out your office a lot.
Manager: But the other half is in my bag.
Me: Oh fuck it.

Let it flush!

Mr. Sweety: We would really increase our changes to get the new toilet installed TONIGHT if we turn on the TV for the soccer game and open up some beers.

Since a few days we flush the toilets using buckets with water. Why would we do such a silly thing?? The damn toilet flush device thing broke down.

It’s not really a surprise since the toilet was probably built somewhere between 1200 and 1500 BEFORE Christ. That’s just a rough guess, what do I really know about ancient toilet potties. We should be glad we don’t have to walk outside to pee.

So the apartment building’s repair guy (who answers his phone with: “HUH?”) promised to BRING the new toilet pot around 8 PM. That promise was probably made BEFORE he realized there was an ‘important’ soccer game on TV.

It’s 10:50 PM, the game is over, but still no new toilet.

He also said he wasn’t planning to install it tonight. He was just going to DELIVER it. That remark had me puzzled all day. So really, I’m kind of glad he didn’t came; otherwise we would have had a new toilet pot in our living room, waiting until the repair – HUH? - man game back to install it.

Mr. Sweety and I are pretty weird, but a toilet pot in our living room would have been a little bit over the top, even for us.

So for the repair man, a nice letter:

The Hague, September 8th

Damn you Dear repair man,
Please come install a new toilet. We pay way too much fucking rent to flush ‘manually’. Filling buckets of water, to flush. GAH. We’ll be forever grateful.

And NOT any fucking soccer game is more important than my toilet. The new pottie better be made of gold with a diamond flusher to make it up to us.

Thanks,
Sweety & FreezeM

The Return of the Tanktops

Every month or so, every inhabitant of the small town of Wardrobia gets thrown out of their cosy environment by their Queen.

This time it all began with a colourful tribe called the Tanktops. You see, when summer kicks in, the Tanktops get ecstatic and keep on running in, out and back into Wardrobia. With every return they choose a new place to live. They don’t look for ‘For Rent’ or ‘Sale’ signs; they simply don’t care that another Wardrobian was living in their new home before they brutally forced their way in. So every Return of the Tanktops was feared by Wardrobian families.

After their second evacuation from their houses, the Cardigan family and the Tees decided to give up and found new homes right under Sweater Mountain. The Socks and the Knickers gave quite a resistance; however, they were not up against the Tanktops. After a violent ball game, they gave up and moved to Hootie Camp, the only area that wasn’t taken over by the Tanktops.

During the Great August 2004 war, The Queen of Wardrobia watched over her small, but loved town. Every morning she would rescue inhabitants who almost fell over the great Shelves of Wardrobia. But when her favourite member of the Jeans family got lost in the clotherian war zone she decided she had to move in and end this war on Tanktops.
With help of her orange Tiger, the ever so loyal and combative Simba, she swept the streets of Wardrobia clean. Placing the Tanktop tribe in a back position and letting the Hootie and Cardigan family rule the town of Wardrobia. And peace returns, at least for another month.

Caption Time!

The bloggish chef

Are you a good cook?
I like to think so!

What’s your top 3 favourite things to eat?
1. Tex Mex
2. Salads, especially salads with goat cheese, tuna or red unions mmm
3. Baked or fried French cheese like brie of camembert with cranberry sauce

Vegetarian or meat lover?
In between. We eat meat like twice a week.

Eggs: scrambled or sunny side up?
Scrambled. No, sunny side up. No, scrambled! I can’t choose.

Your most used ingredient?
Olive oil

I go insane when there is no .… in my fridge.
Cheese

6 course menu or 1 big meal?
6 course menu (if I don’t have to make it myself ;)

National food or multi cultural?
Multi cultural. I’m not a fan of Dutch cuisine.

Appetizer or dessert?
Appetizer! I LOVE appetizers! Sometimes when we’re out to dinner, I go crazy and order two appetizers instead of one main course. LOVE appetizers. Love love love.

Breakfast at home or on the way to work?
At home.

Escargots or frog legs?
EWW! If I HAVE to choose, escargots. I have tried those before. They’re actually not bad, but the thought of eating snail just…… So yes, escargots but with LOTS of wine.

Take away or order by phone/ online?
Take away. Our pizzeria is like a 30 seconds walk away from our house. He delivers, but that would be like an insult. I mean, we’re already halfway down there if we walk down the stairs of our apartment building.

I’ll never cook …..
Ehm I have to say Indonesian food. It’s a lot of work and I’m one of the few people I know that don’t like it. AT ALL. Sorry Mr. Sweety, you’ll have to eat it at your mom’s!

Favourite dinner drink?
Dry white wine, even with meat (I KNOW you’re supposed to drink RED wine with meat, I just don’t like it that much).

BBQ or fondue?
BBQ!! Mmm. Too bad we can’t BBQ on our miniscule balcony.

Leftovers in the fridge or eat everything that’s on the table?
Leftover in the fridge!

Weirdest thing you ever ate?
That’s tough. I have tried the escargots when I was younger. That was kind of weird. Ordering from a French menu can result to having weird food on your plate: a cow’s tongue. But I never went as far as eating the thing.

Tidy cook or does your kitchen look like a war zone when you’re done cooking?
While making appetizers I am able to keep it clean & tidy. After that….

Bachelor in Communications degree

… here I come!

Thank you all for the sweet messages you left on my previous post. I appreciate it muchos! To be honest, I had hesitated to publish that post, but I’m glad I did. I started my blog for me. And me thinks I should write whatever the hell I want. Besides, my friends & family already know everything I wrote. And only once I scared someone away who found out I had had an eating disorder long before we even met. But he was a mistake loser anyway. *everybody: place thumb & forefinger on forehead, making an L, saying: LOSER*

My first school day evening went great. It was actually an introduction evening. Classes will really start next week.

Last time I was at the campus, Mr. Sweety came along. This time I got of the tram alone and slowly walked to the giant (it seemed GIANT! LOL) university building. Not only the memories came to mind, but also the commitment I had made. 4 years. 4 years. FOUR YEARS. But by the time I got to the classroom, I was completely calm.

There were about 35 other students, all somewhere between 25 en 40. I`M BETWEEN GROWN UPS! . Most of them are not yet working in communications like me. I was also the only one who had followed classes at this university before (and the only one who quit that same school, SHUTUP!).

I’m SO looking forward to it. Every single class seems very interesting. I’m having courses in: marketing, communication, business communication, creative writing, presentation, psychology, English, Dutch (UHUH), and than some. I’m hoping to do some extra journalism classes, because I can probably skip some of the scheduled classes because of my work experience.

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but my hands are yearning to open the books I got.

But first I HAVE to read some blogs! :)