A guessing game

One of the things we have done during Easter weekend is decide on a place to spend our May mini holiday.

So where are we going?

You guess. Here are a few hints:

1. I visited this city a little over 10 years ago but Mr. Sweety has never been there.
2. I went to this city on a 6 day school trip and we went by bus (so it’s NOT a place the US, I know, you’re too smart for this game)
3. When I was there I saw someone I probably won’t see again this time.
4. The ‘bestseller’ book I’m currently reading, but have been too lazy to blog about, has a connection to this country.
5. This people in this country have a weird way of eating a dish that we know to be a main course as a starter.
6. There is a small possibility it will be getting very crowded during the time we’re there.
7. It will probably be a bit warmer there than here in The Netherlands.
8. We don’t speak the language (Gawd help us!)

Everybody who guesses the city we’re visiting we’ll receive a greeting card (doesn’t that just make your life a lot happier again?) ….

No beep beep beep in the morning

I don’t have to go back the *beep* that I call work until THUESDAY.

My plans?

1. Send my alarm clock on a deserved Spring break.
2. Walk around in pj’s at least two whole days
3. Watch our government fall
4. Study … and then study some more.
5. Decide on holiday plans for May (we might just visit the US again)
6. Do a little work (as little as possible)
7. Eat too many chocolate eggs
8. Have lunch with my parents on Saturday en show them my new baby
9. Hopefully do a little design work for a new design
10. Pet sit the cutest dog on earth: Sparky
11. Most important: RELAX

So… what are YOUR Easter plans?

Give the nose a break

Dear nose,

Usually, I highly appreciate your work. You’re a very accurate part of my body and you’ve never failed to do your tasks. Even though I believe you could be a bit smaller, I’ve always treated you very well. When we’re going out I always make sure you’re wearing your favorite powder. In the summer you get nothing but the best sunscreen. And when I’ve catched a cold, you have my undivided attention and I pamper you with Aloe Vera tissues and your favorite Vicks delights.

After 26 years, I want to ask you a favor.

I have noticed our downstairs’ neighbors do their cooking in the afternoon. I wish I didn’t know this. You do an outstanding job letting me know that they’re cooking. I have to admit, it usually doesn’t smell that bad. They’re French and obviously like to cook.

But I am begging you, could you just take a break when they’re cooking? You’re even allowed to go out and get a coffee or something. Meet other noses on break. I won’t ground you, I promise.

Thanks,
Sweety

BTW: this is the second time this week I’m talking to a body part. Should I be worried about this? ‘ No, I’m sorry I wasn’t talking to YOU. I was having a chat with my little toe. No the LEFT foot one. I’m giving the right one the silence treatment ‘ cause he bumped into a chair yesterday.’

I couldn’t resist…

Feet, I present to you: your new favorite house.

Now, make yourselves as comfortable as you can, while I get some us coffee.

Happy Friday everyone!

Holy couch bad man!

Monday my best friend’s boyfriend called me. Let’s call her Mary and let’s call him Bill.

Me: Hey Bill, what’s up?
Bill: I’ve asked her.
Me: What did you ask?
Bill: You know..
Me (blond): No……… tell me
Bill: If she’d marry me.
Me: Oooh! Congrats! She didn’t even tell me!
Bill: It didn’t go that well actually.
Me: Oh no! What happened?
Bill: It was me actually
Bill: … I ehm, well ..when asked her.. it wasn’t romantic.
Me: Oh dear, can’t be that bad?
Bill: I asked her while we were sitting on the couch.
Me: You’ve got a nice couch…
Bill: … during a commercial break.
Me: Well… that is..
Bill: .. of a soccer game
Me: that bad.
Bill: She didn’t say no but I could tell she was disappointed.
Me: Ehmm.. well..
Bill: So I pretended I made a joke… and now I want to ask her again.
Me: You pretended?
Bill: Will you help me?
Me: I can’t ask her for you.

So Bill is coming over here this Monday. He wants to take Mary on a romantic weekend.. and try again. And I’m going to help him plan. Gawd help me.

And since I have no experience in the wedding department, I’m asking you for your help.

Be Mary’s wedding –proposal- planner, and give Bill some good suggestions on how to ask Mary.

Breaking up

Dear M,

I have to break up with you.

Our relationship has lasted for over 10 years but most of the time I’ve been unhappy.

I just don’t feel secure when I’m with you. And I need that in a relationship. Another thing that’s missing in our relationship is stability. Every time I arrange us to do something fun, you let me down. You blamed me for trying too many new things at a time, but that’s just me. I thought you had accepted that a long time ago.

For over ten years I’ve put up with your moods and you have stood me up more times than Lady Liberty has been photographed. And having bad memory no longer is an excuse.

Every time I ask you something, you grumble as if I just asked you to move Mount Everest a few inches to the left. You just don’t seem to be able to fulfill my needs, not any of them.

Also your insecurity is killing me. Every time we decide to do something you asked me ' are you you sure' over and over again. You have to stop doing that, it doesn't make sense.

I know you’re thinking I met someone else. And you’re right. His name is Mac and we’ve been very intimate. More than you and I have ever been. I’ve touched him in many ways when he sat on my lap. Things got hot and I even kissed him.

Even though I cheated, I truly hope we can part as friends. We’re most likely to bump in to each other at work anyway. We have to get over this.

Thanks for the time we’ve shared. It has been interesting.

Love,
Sweety

BTW I: I still have to pick some things up, some cd’s, a few documents and some photos. I’ll pick them up later this week, let me know what time is good for you.

BTW II: And YES I am sure.

BTW III: No, I don't want to start over and try again thankyouverymuch.

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Ladies and Gentlemen: Brain has left the building

I just had the most interesting conversation with our online grocery store (I know: we’re totally lazy).

Girl: This is Albert (online grocery store) how can I help you?
Me: Hi, I placed an order this morning for groceries to be delivered on Monday.
Me: But I didn’t get a confirmation email and I can’t find my order on the Albert website.
Girl: What’s your zip code?
Me: 1234AB
Girl: House number?
Me: 12
Girl: You say you ordered today?
Me: Yes
Girl: You’re not in our database.
Me: I’m what?
Girl: Not in our database.
Me: What does that mean?
Girl: You never ordered anything here.
Me: That’s just impossible. We order regularly.
Girl: Your zip code is 1234AB, house number 12?
Me: Yes.
Girl: Are you sure?
Me: Yes!
Girl: You’re not in the system.
Me: ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR Apple Boot?
Girl: Yes 1234 AB, house number 12. It’s not here.
Me: It must be 1234 AB, house number 12.
Girl: It’s not here.
Me: (dang)
Me: Try 206

I can’t believe I gave her our old house number. My brain apparently is celebrating Friday and totally forgot about its master: me. What did I ever do to deserve that.

(In case you’re wondering our groceries are ready to come to their rightful owners and will be delivered here tomorrow.)

What can I say, I’m a cat person

When I was younger my parents took me to see a lot of nice places. We visited Malta, England, Portugal, Germany, Turkey and a couple of times Greece. I always loved Greece, it’s cute, nice weather, friendly people and the ancient history and architecture just blow you away.

What I can never forget is the way animals are treated there. I’m not saying everyone in southern Europe is a pet molester, I’m just saying what I saw. And I saw a lot of stray kittens and dogs. Very thin, very ill. Some missing an eye, others starving to death.

Maybe it’s a world problem, I don’t know, I can only judge what I’ve seen, where I’ve been.

I always wanted to pet the little strays. Pick them up. Share my water with them. Feed them. Take them all home with me.

My mom, very keen on hygiene, would always say - in a way only caring mothers can -: ‘Sweety, don’t touch them, they have fleas!’

I, of course, would totally ignore her plead and touch them anyway. Like any normal rebellious teenager would do.

And my dad? He’d make pictures:

Can you see just the fleas crawling over me?

CSI : Retired and the unsolved drug case

Or: Don’t believe everything FOX says

In the interesting B&B we stayed at in San Diego we met a few interesting guests.

At first I thought a B&B was a nice way to meet some new people. But the guests of the B&B were all somewhere between 60 and decomposition. I shouldn’t exaggerate; there was that one couple in their 30’s spending their 21548th anniversary for the 21548th time in the same B&B and probably in the same room. They kept asking everyone: ‘Is this your first time here?’ And then we’d hear; ‘it’s our 21548th!’ .. ‘Yes really.’

I have to say being the only Europeans in the B&B we felt a bit like monkeys in a zoo. We felt like we were being watched for some reason.

The second morning one of the guests – a former CSI – came up to us and asked: ‘How does your country handle all the broken families?’.

Mr. Sweety: Excuse me?
CSI : Retired: How does your country handle all the broken families?
Mr. Sweety: What do you mean all broken families?
CSI : Retired: You know, with the (whispers) drug problem.
Mr. Sweety: I’m not sure what you mean.
CSI : Retired: Drugs are legal in your country. There must be a lot of addicts. How does your country handle that? I mean, when the mothers are addicts. Those poor children.
Mr. Sweety: I don’t believe it’s that much of a problem really. Sure Marihuana is semi legal, but..
Me: (slightly amused) and mushrooms too!
Mr. Sweety: yes, AND mushrooms, but XTC, cocaine and heroine are illegal.
CSI : Retired: Oh really?
Me: Yes, really. I have to admit a lot of Dutch people try marihuana once or twice, but somewhere between 18 and 25 they stop using it. It’s really not much more a problem than alcohol in the US.
CSI : Retired (mouth drops to floor)
Mr. Sweety: Yes, I’ve even read some reports saying the drug problem in the US is much bigger that in The Netherlands.

And than CSI: Retired walked of.

I have to admit, I’d rather see that marihuana is illegal. But really, when I walk out the door I don’t trip over addicts sleeping on the streets. You won’t find hundreds and hundreds of crying children on the streets because their family broke up because of drugs. We’re not that bad.

We won’t burn in hell. Trust me.

What on earth has gone into the main character?

As seen on Razzle Frazzle and We’re gonna need a bigger boat...
(go say hi, they’re nice people!)

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that cool or intellectual book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

From ‘The curious incident of the dog in the night time’ by Mark Haddon:

So I got out my Swiss army knife and opened the saw blade so that I could defend myself. Then I went out of my room really quietly and listened. I couldn’t hear anything, so I started going downstairs really quietly and slowly.

I’m currently reading this book and the last page I read was 104, so now I HAVE to read because I’m curious to find out how the sweet young main character of this book ended up with an army knife.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

Can you tell what the weather was like today? Snow is not a very common thing here in The Netherlands.

I couldn't help but make some pictures to share...

Poor little flowers, will they survive?

Don't joke about my hat.

Ain't it pretty?

A statue of... .of.. ehm.. I don't know