HOLD YOUR BREATH, I REPEAT, DO NOT BREATHE

Every thriller movie has a scene where the killer, monster, predator is looking for the main character (to eat him, kill him or whatever unpleasant things) and the main character is hiding and tries not to make a sound. And while you watch a scene like that, you probably hold your breath and forget about your popcorn for a very brief second? And than the main character does something stupid like sneeze or burp which reveals his hiding place to the predator. And than the running & hiding game starts all over again?

The predator........Lisa
The something that makes the (loud) sound that alerts the predator.... Tim
The main character praying for silence.... Mommy.

Tim has been pretty good with helping me get Lisa to sleep. But sometimes? On that crucial moment when I put the little one in her crib and I move away trying not to make a sound (really, I stop breathing) and than I hear Tims footsteps coming closer .. and closer.. and closer... and than the door opens, with any luck hits a piece of furniture and he shouts " HELLLLLOOOOO'S " (cause he doesn't say just one hello, but he says "HELLOOOOOOS".)

Can't help but love him, but OH MAN, I AM TRYING TO GET THE BABY TO SLEEP.

Anyways, I have decided on the nicknames. Thanks for playing everyone!

Lisa named herself by being basically attached to me for the last 24 hours. I named her Roo. Like in Kangaroo. You get the picture. And Tim will be nicknamed Monkey.

I'll use those names as of next post, and will remove their real names from this website as soon as I have a moment (that will be somewhere in 2057).

Anyway, I thought Christina Aquilera asked 1 million $ for her baby pictures and JLO will get like 5 million $ for her twins, I should sell my baby pictures too. A Dutch magazine about kids & parenting came to photograph:

Just kidding. The magazine interviewed me a while ago, because they're writing an article about daycare versus a family member who comes take care of the kids while mommy and daddy are at work. My MIL usually comes over to take care of Tim and Lisa (soon Monkey and Roo, I'm just practicing here.. :) when I am at work. That's her back on the photo. Hi MIL!

And this week the magazine came to our house and made the photo. When I have it, and it's nice, I'll publish it here. And that's my 1 million $, because that's all I'm gaining.

We can't all be rich and famous. There just ain't enough rehab facilities in the world.

I need nicknames

As my little baby boy grows into a big boy, I'm thinking about giving him a little more privacy. Meaning, I'm about to make him a little more anonymous by giving him a nickname rather than using his real name on this blog. Also, I am following the example of a few blogs I read and will publish less photos or photos with his face not fully visible. I won't actually stop posting photos (my family would be SO disappointed as the come over here to check for photos like every minute, hi mom!), but I will cut down.

Other reasons are:
1. I got some Google searches on photos of Tim. Granted, this could be family or friends, but it made me think.
2. He'll be of to a playgroup/ pre school soon. Do I really want people to recognize him AND know him by name?
3. We met a crazy lady in Portugal on our trip last October. She was obsessed with him. You think I'm exaggerating, but I am not. She scared the living ... out of me. Maybe I'll share that story someday. Anyways, I figured she could just Google his name and find him. Finding out his address might be easy too.

Call it paranoia, it might be. But this seems the right thing to do.

His nickname? This was hard. I have only one nickname I use, and that's little monkey (in Dutch obviously: Aapie). So I'll probably use that on this blog.

But I do not have a nickname for Lisa yet. Though sometimes I say Sunbeam, but I'm not sure Monkey and Sunbeam...

Sooooooo the contest is up, give my girl a nickname!

1...2....3... GO!

I am Julia Roberts

At least, according to Tim. He saw a picture of her, gave her a good look and promptly decided: "MOMMY!".

Good boy, I raise you well.

Or so I thought.

Today I went into the tub with him. We used to do that a lot before I gave birth (and after you have to wait at least 6 weeks for the wounds to heal to prevent infection). So today was our first bath together since Lisa entered this world. But back in the days ('cause it seems like AGES ago!) when I was pregnant, he used to point at my belly and say "Baby!"

I thought it was the cutest thing.

This morning in the tub, he pointed at my belly, thought for a minute and said "little baby".

Thanks dude.

Hi sleep! Nice to see you again!

Lisa has been sleeping through the night for 3 days in a row. With sleeping through the night I mean from 12.00 to 7.30. So we can close our eyes again at night. Bliss.

I probably jinxed it now, right?

So I really can't use sleep deprivation as an excuse for my uberly dumb action the day before yesterday.

I (including toddler and stroller) walked into a street sign for getting a free eye test in front of an contact lenses/ glasses store.

Go ahead, laugh.

Does this mean I failed the eye test?

Tim's eyes aren't any better. He has a case of the maximus colorblindness, type blue.

The test: point at any object, any color and ask Tim "What color is this.." and he will answer "blue".

Always.

Anyways. Let's test YOUR eyes.

Look at the picture below and guess my age.

Early 20 something? I'm flattered, no.
Early 30's? Nope.

No, look again. Try to find mister Duplo Postman and mister Duplo Constructor.

Obviously, the correct answer is 12!

But give me some slack. How many adventures can the postman and the constructor be on in Duplo Ville without getting all Brokeback Duplo?

Letters for Lisa: one month

My dearest Lisa,

It is hard to believe as much as a month has passed since we welcomed you into this world. We have spend over 30 busy, intense and beautiful days together and yet I find it hard to find the words to write this letter.

Let's begin with the obvious. You sleep most of the time. Granted, it seems you do most of your sleeping during the day. But last night? You slept from 12 AM to 6.30 AM. Bliss. When you don't sleep, you drink. I love nursing you, it's one of my favorite parts of the day. Especially when you're done drinking and you get that "mommy I'm full - look", while a drop of milk leeks from your chin. It is than when you rest your head on my breast and I feel richer than money could ever make me feel. My milk is what provides your good nutrition, and that's just one of those natural beautiful things of life. I hope to nurse you at least as long as I did Tim, which was almost ten months.

When you don't sleep, drink you either cry ('cause little girl, you can cry too) or look around with your beautiful blue eyes. Not to say the crying isn't beautiful (it's loud though ;) but in a way even the crying is beautiful, because most of the time, you let me comfort you and you'll be all happy and content when you're all snuggled up in my arms. It is such a wonderful feeling to be able to make you feel better just by holding you. At night we're slightly worried about this, because there are nights were the only place you'll stop crying (and drift of to sleep) is in my arms. While during the day my arms are probably the safest place for you to be, at night (in bed) not so much.

You're discovering the world with your big eyes. I often wonder what you're thinking when you see your parents and your big brother playing with you, showing you things, talking and singing to you. Your big brother gives you so many hugs and kisses. And he shows his affection by rubbing his head against yours, much like a cat. It is the cutest thing. He already loves you so much. Just like your parents.

I love, love, love you. I feel we've bonded since the first time you looked into my eyes, the day you were born.

You're gorgeous. You're perfect. You're my sunbeam.

And I am happy I did find words to write your one month letter. Because it is hard to describe the perfectness that is you.

Love,

Mom

Greetings from Mount Laundry!

* This is the first moment this week that I actually have a little moment for me. The big guys are at the playground. So it's me nursing little miss Lisa.

* Oh, I was at the playground too, but she decided she was hungry.

* I'm too scared to breastfeed in public.

* Especially when it's freezing!

* I've figured out I can read Tim stories while nursing Lisa. He LOVES the extra reading time. Actually he demands "Lisa drink more!" when his little sister gets of the breast too soon.

* I have to get more books. I am a little done with reading and "The little green car" and "Timmy Tiger"

* And seriously? How does one keep up with house work with a 4 week old and a toddler?

* I know! Invite one's mother over to do it.

* I told my mom her precious grandchildren hadn't seen the tub in several days.

* She was here before I could blink!

* After she climbed Mount Laundry, she vacuum cleaned.

* The best moments of the day are when Lisa is awake and looking around while Tim gives her hugs, kisses and all of his toys.

* Second best are our daily walks. I spend at least an hour a day outside. Usually at a playground.

* Curious how many hours one can nurse a 4 week old per day? About 6 hours during a growth spurt. Yes 6. As of last night Lisa's feeding"schedule" changed from every 3 to 4 hours, to a feeding at least every two hours. Last night she was pretty much attached to the milk production units the entire time.

* I can't find my sleep. If happen to see it, please tell it to get back here!

* Tim says the Dutch word for ehm.. that C word, pronounced: SEE-YOU-N-TEA. He wants to say stool, but instead he says that c-word. And we don't use that word or swear like ever. Just pray he won't use it when
we go out!

* Can you guess how many diapers and clothes you can change during ONE diaper change? I forgot baby's like to do their thing while you are changing their diaper. Nice.

* But a plus: little girls don't launch their pee! Mommy stays dry! Hooray!

* My neck is hurting from this one hand blogging while breastfeeding in awkward position. So bye bye for now.

Excuse the lack of text

My BWB'ing (blogging while breastfeeding) - skills need a little more practice. But pictures speak louder than words, yada yada yada... Here's some brotherly love (Tim gave Lisa part of his his cement truck, if that ain't love...) and two pairs of the biggest blue eyes...

Our first family of four cultural trip!

The weather has not been very cooperative for strolls with a two week old baby the last week. But staying inside isn't really our thing and it drives Tim up the walls. Literally, because there are traces of crayon on the wall to prove it.

Anyway, we decided to pack bundle up both children between Lisa's feedings and go to the nearby children's museum, The Museon. Tim isn't really the target group (I think it's really 4 years and up), but he got to run around and push buttons. That made his day. Which made our day. And we got to look like very cultural people. And Lisa? Slept through the whole trip. No pressure honey, you're just two weeks old.

The photos:

Don't let the sun and blue sky fool you, it was freezing!

The world's best daddy

Monkey!

Our naked 'ancestor'.

Yes, go ahead, you can push that button!

Do you see my huge butt? It's hard to see, as it's kinda dark. but seriously. Look at the size. It's bigger than our naked ancestor!

Tim's FAVORITE part of the museum. The Wildlife photo collection. He kept running to people, pointing at the photos and tell them the photos were beautiful. Luckily, the people there were kind and thought it was funny.

Tomorrow the hubby is off to work again. Leaving me with Lisa and Tim. Anyone want to come over and change diapers?

The birth story: Rupert and the frog edition

Giving birth to two children count for the two most painful but most beautiful moments in my life. The paradox is complete as my brains successfully forgets the pain and my heart tries ever so hard to remember every single detail. To remember, I'm writing and sharing Lisa's birth story, just like I did with Tim's birth.

Saturday January 19th (the day Lisa was born, which NONE of you guessed!), we had a quiet day. When Tim napped, his daddy and I napped too. At about 4 in the afternoon I took a bath with Tim. We really enjoyed our bath time together. He played with bath time Pooh, Tigger and Piglet. And I just soaked like a huge whale and enjoyed watching Tim have fun in the water. Forget whale, I looked exactly like this:

Anyway, since I soaked in the hot tub, I had like minor cramps (down there, you know). Really, I wouldn't have noticed anything if I wasn't already on edge for a few days. I told my husband "this might be it, I feel funny, I'm not in pain, but I am not sure" at 5:30 PM. On which I demanded a pizza (oh that was another clue for me, the whole day I ate SO much, not just my "normal" pregnancy cravings, but also a lot of "real food": two breakfasts, 8 sandwiches, like I just had run a marathon or something.).

Anyhow, the "it's-not-pain-but-I-don't-know-what-it-is feeling" slowly became more difficult to ignore. At 6:15 PM my husband called my mom to ask her to prepare to come over.. "this might be it."

At 6.30 PM he called her, that "it was most likely to be it" and that she really should come over.. but also apologized in case "this wasn't it."

Isn't there a saying "when in doubt, you are not in labor!"?

Anyway, I was feeling all fuzzy, like I just had too much alcohol (or tranquilizers), and I was still in denial I was actually going in labor.

I decided I needed to post on my blog (because I love you guys), finish making vegetable stock (hey, Tim needs his daily soup), clean the kitchen (hello, nesting up until the last minute) and watch Tim's new favorite YouTube video about Rupert the bear and a gazillion frogs (yes, the Paul McCartney " We all stand together song!). We watched it over and over again, because Tim can't watch this video just ONCE.

Note to self: do not listen to the same song for more than 5 times, if you are about to give birth. The song will stick with you all the way. (I urge you to play the video while reading this post, it's like you were there!)

From breaking the water...

to pushing the bun out...

My parents arrived at 7 PM and I had my first somewhat painful contraction at 7.15 PM. But I was still in denial. My husband reminded me of the fact that I was the same when Tim came. In denial doubt, little cramps, maybe it's just something I ate.. and he was sure this was it as the cramps did sort of kinda came within one or two minutes of each other. He called the hospital and they said: COME OVER!

And I said: I want to bring Tim to bed and read his bed time story!

DENIAL!!

Between two contractions, I read Tim his bed time story (7.30 PM) and enjoyed that last time where he was just my little baby. CRAZY. Anyways, we read Mouse on a treasure hunt and read about Frog and a little pig. And I kissed him good night. Told him the baby in my belly might be coming soon and that I loved him no matter what.

It took the hubby 15 minutes to get me in the car. I mean, I had to do my make up (in case another Hugh Grant look a like was my gyno!), change clothes and.. and.

Did I mention I was in DENIAL?

At 8 PM we arrived at the hospital. I walked in, still able to talk through my contractions. I felt silly for being there so soon, I was afraid they would send us back home again.

They send us into a wrong room twice (nothing more entertaining than letting a 9 month in labor woman exercise in hospital hallway), and by 8:15 PM they got me in a bed, and me and Lisa on a monitor.

4 CM dilated was the verdict. I thought I was going to be there for HOURS.

(WHY did I watch that frog video so many times with Tim??)

The gyno broke my water. And when every medical person left the room, it felt like hell broke lose. Contractions, just one or two minutes apart. Why did I chose for a natural birth AGAIN? Anyway, I fought my way through 45 minutes of pain (which isn't so bad, I know).

And the hubby was just perfect. Rubbing my back, saying sweet things, making me feel safe. In fact he was being so wonderful, I felt guilty for ignoring him while dealing with the contractions.

At 9 PM I felt the contractions getting less severe. I recognized this from Tim's birth and knew Lisa was about to enter this world.

At 9:10 the gyno came back to see how much I was dilated, only to see Lisa was actually well on her way out (you go girl! really, get out of the belly already).

At this point the nurses, the gyno and the hubby told me I was further than I thought with this birth thing. But no one told me exactly how far, or even that Lisa's head was already visible. Thank guys. That was really helpful. The gyno told me to push at 9:15 PM... and I held my precious daughter at 9:20 PM.

From that moment on, we had a family of four. Just two hours after I read Tim his bedtime story and just one night away from him meeting his little sister.

Life is beautiful. Life is perfect.

(Tim STILL wants to see that youtube video everyday (WATCH FROG! he demands). So everyday I am reminded of Lisa's birthday. )