I cheated on him

I felt my heartbeat fasten and my hands felt a little sweaty when I opened the door a few days ago. I was 5 minutes late.

Does he know? I wondered.

My eyes looked around the room and I noticed him standing on the other side. With a little hesitation I said "hi", smiled and took of my coat. The mirror in the hallway showed me my red cheeks. I am such a terrible liar.

When I walked back into the room, he asked me about my day.

Did his voice sound different?

I said fine and asked him how he was doing. "OK" was his short answer. He knows, I convinced myself.

I approached him, and he ran his hand through my hair. My heartbeat went through the roof as he gave me an inspecting look.

We hadn't been this close since a little before Roo was born. I felt uneasy and wanted to walk away, but he urged me to sit down and asked what I wanted him to do.

Shall I just come clean and tell him right away?

He ran his fingers through my hair again.

He knew. And to be honest, I wish it never happened. It was a horrible experience.

"I'm sorry", I told him. I couldn't keep the secret any longer. "I cheated on you" I admitted.

"I know", he said. He didn't seem that upset. Not even annoyed. Or sad. Actually, he seemed to be cool about it.

"It was just this once", I tried, hoping for a reaction.

"Who did you go to?" he asked.

(Why do they always ask WHO) "Just someone, close to where I live." I said quick.

"He didn't do a good job." he said schmuck.

"You do it much better." I smiled, polishing his already big ego a little more.

"Shall I wash your hair, before I cut it?" he smiled, forgiving me for my sin.

"Yes please", I smiled, hoping for a nice head massage.

Hugh Grant will be slicing me open

So.. those who've been reading this blog for a while know a cyst was discovered in one of my ovaries at a regular 12 week ultrasound when I was pregnant with Roo.

Well. It is still there. I have been postponing going to the hospital, because going there means planning a surgery Yuck. I am not looking forward to it, mainly for two reasons:

1. I can't breastfed for 24 hours because of the general anesthesia. I know I can use a breast pump, and I will. I'll make sure there's enough milk in the fridge for her. But I fear it will all be screwed up. And what if I don't have to spend one night, but more? Will they let Roo be with me? Do I want her to be with me in the hospital?
2. I have an irrational fear of waking up during the surgery, but not able to move but to feel the surgery.

But I grew up and got over it, (sort of) and went and see my gyno the infamous Hugh Grant - look a like. So I went there, nicely dressed (awesome new pants, new shirt, nice hair, just one (and a half) size away from my old size, really I looked hot). Expecting just a chat about planning an ultrasound, planning a surgery. But Hugh apparently goes all the way one a first date, and within 3 minutes he let me strip down to where it was just me, my new shirt and my Miffy socks. No, not MILFy socks. Miffy. Yeah. Hot.

I'll spear you the details of what happened next.

Anyway, Hugh apparently is the expert of the hospital on removing cysts. He will try to do it next time we see each other (obviously, I'll be seeing very little) with a laparoscopic surgery. He explained what our second date will look like: he'll make a hole in my tummy to squeeze in a camera. He'll make several other little holes in my tummy to put in his instruments.

VERY romantic. No?

I left with the promise I'd call the surgery planner to pick a date.

And I will call tomorrow.

I will.

I promise.

Letters for Roo: Two months

My sweetest Roo,

Today you're two months old (and a few days, but mommy has been a little busy).

It's snowing and the house feels cold and empty. Daddy took you and your big brother to grandma so I could have some 'mommy time'. And with taking you guys, daddy created some time for me to write your two month - letter.

The past month has all been about communicating. We understand each other. I don't have to guess why you're crying (at least, most of the time). I understand your hungry-cry, your sleepy-cry, your pain-cry.

When you're tired and you're crying, I just have to put you in your crib and tuck you in real tight. And you calm down and fall asleep. Most of the time I have to hold your arms for a bit. Up until last week we used a Swaddle blanket, but this seems to work just as well. And the crib seems to calm you (unlike last month, when I was convinced you hated it).

You like it when I sing to you, when I talk to you and mostly when I smile at you. You give the biggest smile back with a cute cooing sound that just makes my heart melts. You've also started to really notice your big brother. I've already seen you smile at him too. He loves you so much and has been nothing but sweet to you. He's proud of you and for him too life without you is unthinkable. When we go someplace he always demands you're coming with us and when your resting in your bed, he wants me to take you out of it so you can play with us. I know you both will probably fight every now and than when you get a bit older. But never forget, he loved you the moment he met you.

You follow me around with your eyes when I walk out of sight. You like it when I stroke your little hairs or rub your tummy. Your favorite place to sleep is in my arms, though we got you to sleep in your crib most of the time.

What you also like is your diaper changes. (Your brother hated diaper changes. And that's an understatement.) But you really enjoy it. You even don't mind me changing your clothes. You just look at me with those big blue eyes and enjoy the attention, hoping I rub your tummy or tickle you or cover you in a million little kisses or a massage with your baby oil. When you're done looking at me, you stare at the flowery wallpaper. You really seem to like it. And that's a good thing, because your grandma and daddy have spend many hours putting that wallpaper on the wall.

Yesterday daddy wasn't feeling well and was asleep. Your big brother was napping too. So I took you to the mall so we girls could do some shopping. You enjoyed your time out in the front carrier. You thought the wind was funny. It was really nice to spend some time alone with you. Getting to know you a little better.

You're opening up to the world around you. Noticing things that happen. Changes in sound, people, light, movement. A lot happens around you, and a lot happens with you. Growing and changing every day. And I can't imagine a single day to pass by without you.

I love you little princess,
Mommy.

On grandma's attic

(Monkey is napping, for the first time in FOUR days... I am posting today for the first time in FOUR days.. see a connection?)

Last week we got our bathroom ceiling done (still from last year's water damage from our neighbors TWO floors up). The ceiling looks much better than it used too. Hooray! But still, with a newborn you kind of don't want to have constructors running around ("OOOOH sorry ma'am, you're nursing...") So we fled to my mother's house. Monkey spend the night there because the work took two whole days and our apartment isn't that big, so I thought it would be best to not have him around all the mess. Husband, Roo and I joined him during the day.

Anyway, my mom cleared out her attic in search for my old toys for Monkey to play with. And she dug out some old Barnie dolls. Looking at them, I was confused why I spend hours playing with these weird dolls. I thought they were extremely cool when I got them.. but now they just looked really weird to me. I mean, "Pop rock Ken?" Look at his hair! At least he HAS hair. and what's the deal with Barbie? She has a vampire bite mark (or one hell of a hickey from one of the Kens, who knows what she was up too dressed like that!) and my mom would never let me go out wearing a short skirt like that.

click to enlarge

Still, extremely awesome my mom kept all my old toys.

The end of a wonderful era

It was bound to happen.

Inevitable.

It's a sign of growth.

Of a youthful spirit ready to discover the world.

Instead of napping.

*cries*

I think the Monkey is done with napping.

*cries even louder*

For the last few day putting him to bed at his nap time has been difficult. You won't believe how many times he can climb out of his bed and run into the hallway and be put back to bed and run out his room and put back to bed and... well you get the picture.

(Can you pass me a tissue?)

Today he crowned his new bedtime routine by saying to his dad after he put him back to bed for the 15th time (obviously in denial): "teasing daddy".

But we won't give up. Besides from being sad over losing my two hours to relax, most of the time he really needs that nap. We'll try to move his nap time from before lunch to after lunch... and if that doesn't work... we'll just have to accept the fact the Monkey has definitely outgrown the baby era.

Cross fingers.

This week's conversations (the everything is blue edition)

Husband: What color has my red book, Monkey?
Monkey: BLUE!
Husband: No, that's not correct. Try again. What color has my RED book, Monkey?
Monkey: BLUE!
Husband: No, it's RED!
Monkey: BLUE!
Husband: RED!
Monkey: BLUE!
Husband: RED!
(You never win)

***

Husband: What kind of tea to you want honey?
Me: I'll have that green ginseng tea, thanks!
Monkey: Blue tea!

(So, does my kid have a sense of humor or is he color deaf?)

This is a start, right?

I'm on the toilet, when Monkey opens the door and enters the toilet.

Me: Monkey, can I have a little privacy please?

(Monkey runs of, comes back carrying a potty...)

Me: Do you want to sit on that potty?
Monkey: Yes!

(I help him get undressed..)

Monkey: Monkey on potty!
Me (clapping): Yes, I'm so proud.
Me: You're sitting on a potty!
Me; Just like Jelle! (a character in a book about potty training)
Monkey: Yes!
Me: Are you going to poop?
Monkey: No.
Me: Pee?
Monkey: No.
Me: Are you going to sit on your own potty instead of Baby Born's potty next time?

Rub rub rub, anyone in there?

Hi genie! Could you like, ehm, grant me 3 poop-related wishes?

WISH #1
Please let my baby girl of 6 weeks old poop WITHOUT pain and cramps. I get that her body still has to adjust to the world and stuff, but hurry up already. It hurts me to see her in so much pain (plus the NOISE she makes when she finally does do a #2? Is SO loud, I'm worried the neighbors think we're running an illegal chemical test laboratory)

WISH #2
It would be awesome if I could have some private time on the toilet. Could you make Monkey lose interest in joining his mom when she goes? Or at least when she does a #2? If this is too much too ask, could you potty train him? That would be great, thanks.

WISH#3
The Monkey has a habit of doing #2 either 30 seconds before we go out, or 30 seconds after we went out the door. Could you adjust this time frame to 10 minutes BEFORE we go out so I won't have to change his diaper twice? That would be awesome AND saving money. And if you grant me this wish, I am totally getting you a new lavender scented toilet air refresher from the money we save on diapers.

Thanks genie,
Nadine

PS 1: And do you disappear by yourself, or do you want me to push the flush button? Just asking.

PS 2: And what do you think of these? Shall I get you one? As a bonus for the potty training?

PS 3: Does my butt look fat?

What was I thinking

Note to self.

Don't give your toddler sugary cookies and lemonade just before his nap.

Because he won't.

Nap.

(Runs of to hallway to put toddler back in bed for the.. first, second, third time in 20 minutes. And ya'all have no idea how bad this sucks, especially since I got Roo to nap for OVER AN HOUR NOW, which is a miracle, because she doesn't do napping and this would have been MY first option for a nap of my own in days. At least I wouldn't call a gazillion 10 minutes naps a day, napping. Right? That just doesn't count.)

This week's conversations (the pervert edition)

The Monkey and Roo have regular checkups at the pediatricians office. The most annoying part of going there, is the fact that the children are supposed to get undressed (except for diapers, thank God, think of the mess) before they go in to see the pediatrician. While they're waiting, they get weighed and measured.To make sure the children don't get too cold, the heater in the waiting/ dressing area is set to hellish temperatures. My MIL joined me to our last appointment:

Me to MIL: I can't believe how hot it is.
Me to MIL: We should totally strip down to our underwear, just like the kids.

A random father within hearing distance (apparently): I'll hold your baby for you!

Note that this dad had a toddler running around and a VERY pregnant wife sitting on the other site of the room.

How embarrassing!

I asked too much of him

Imagine you have a new born and a toddler. On what household appliance would you depend. Like night and day?

In sickness and in health?

For better or for worse?

Well, death did us part.

Excuse me, while I'll go find a streaming river to rinse our loads of laundry.

Beep beep!

Yep. That's my toddler who just crushed your tibia.

But he does look cute doing it, doesn't he?

This week's conversations

Husband: Hey, you're wearing your tight jeans again!
Me: Dude. That is SO not the way to describe my pre-pregnancy jeans.

***

Me: Don't use your crayons on your little sister, honey.

***

Me: Don't sit on your little sister, honey.

***

The Monkey: More bread! more bread!
Me: Eat your soup first honey
The Monkey (pretending to eat soup): Mmmmmmmm! More bread! Yes?

***

Me to MIL: I think we just changed 5 diapers in 10 minutes.

***

Me to internet people (shouting 'cause iTunes is playing SO LOUD): THE HUSBAND JUST TOOK THE KIDS TO THE PLAYGROUND AND GAVE ME A WHOLE HOUR OF ME TIME (NO KIDS, NO CLEANING). And honestly? ENJOYING IT!! 42 minutes left....... I think I'll take a hot bath!

***

Update 4 PM
Me (thinking): Did I just hear the Monkey?
Me (thinking): Oh no, they're to the playground

***

Update 4.10 PM
Me (thinking): Did I just hear Roo on the monitor?
Me (thinking): Clearly I lost my mind.