Inspired by a guy doing the happy dance with Papua people (part 1)

Every now and than, an experience, a special person, a song, a smile of my children, an extremely beautiful day when nature shows its beauty in a idyllic scenery like a rainbow on a Hawaiian beach (sigh, memories) or dew on a spring flower, inspires me to think of our future. Not the future of this world (that's too much of a burden, but I'm very green and recycle ;) but the future of me and my family.

Though our first and most important priority is the well being of our family, there's this feeling I need to find an exit on this road I'm traveling, and follow a new way. I don't mean a drastic U-turn, I LOVE the way we're headed, but more ehm... buy a four wheel drive, take it of the road and find a nice parallel road which is headed to warmer weather and nicer scenery. I'm babbling? Do I make any sense?

My thoughts run anywhere between resigning from work, to enjoy the children, writing a cook book, a memoir or a children's book, moving to a farm house, getting my Masters degree in international communication, studying English language and American culture and emigrating to the US.

And than my mind tells me to shut up, ditch the wild ideas and stop dreaming and start cleaning ("HELLO Nadine, there is laundry to do, get your head out of the clouds already!!!) . Because seriously? Between spending quality time with children and cleaning, I hardly have time to even finish reading a book.

I am very happy with my life, and I would die smiling if I was to die now. My children and my husband mean everything to me. But it's my children I want to learn to take the actions needed to live your dream and be happy. All the rainbows in the world could turn a dusty shade of gray, I wouldn't care, as long as my children are happy and do whatever it is that makes them happy and fulfill their dreams.

And I can only do that by being the best example.

I blame my restless mind on 3 things. My surgery (the whole experience kind of messes with your head), Randy Pausch (I tuned into an Oprah show where he was a guest, I only saw the last minute or so, but it inspired me to look at his Last Lecture. Unfortunately he passed away two days ago.) and a funny guy (called Matt) dancing all around the world. Be sure to watch it up untill 2 minutes and 40 seconds (India). Too funny!

If I were Matt's mom. I would miss my son. My heart would long for him to come visit me, eat my freshly baked Dutch apple pie, and make me lots of grandchildren. But seeing my boy dancing the happy dance all around the world, would make my heart overflow with happiness (while I ate that entire apple pie all by myself :).

Great, now I'm graving apple pie.

6 months

Einstein was right little Roo, time is relative. Not sure if he meant it in the same way as I, but it feels like yesterday or maybe a week ago you were born. But here you are 6 months old: cooing, laughing, rolling, drooling and playing (and a lot more, but you are also time consuming so I have little time to write this letter ;)

You are such a joy and pleasure to be with. Your big blue eyes always twinkle and shine, and when you're happy you unfold a smile that's so cute and pretty, it makes the most gorgeously blooming flower on earth look like weed in desperate need of rain. This smile is also terribly infectious.

I worry about you. You sleep on your tummy. Like your brother did, the minute he could. As soon as you got the skill of rolling over down like a pro, you slept on your tummy. All medical and baby experts urge parents not to let their babies sleep on their tummies because of the possibility of SIDS. So we put you back on your back, only to let you roll back on your tummy as soon as you notice what we did. So I'll trust you on this one.

Diaper change is challenging. Not because you cry - because you don't, you don't mind getting a nice & dry diaper - it's challenging because you constantly want to lay on your tummy. And because of that I now can change a diaper while you're laying on your tummy. You're teaching mom quite a few things little girl.

On the day you turned 6 months, we started giving you rice cereal. You had no idea what to do with it. The rice cereal was everywhere, but not in your tummy. A few days later we learned you're more the pear puree type, and after a few successes with eating that, you've got the hang of eating rice cereal too. Next up in your weaning plan: apple puree, carrot puree, sweet potato puree, potato puree and green bean puree. You'll be chewing on a 5 course dinner before you know it.

Every morning when I go and wake you up (you like to sleep in late, like 9'ish, waaaay after we've all had breakfast & coffee) I feel like a little kid running down the stairs on the way to the Christmas tree on Christmas day. You are the perfect Christmas gift I get to open and play with every day.

You're my little sunshine, my endless joy, thank you for being in my life.

Mommy

Meeting Matt

Smart, funny and a pleasure to be around: Matt. We got to meet this fun fellow blogger last Sunday and spend the afternoon showing him around the center of our hometown, The Hague. We had lots of fun. Thanks for coming over Matt.. and next time, bring Nay! :)

Photo courtesy of Matt ... a Canon photographer. Bless his heart. But as adults, we got passed the whole Nikon-Canon rivalry :)

Juggling

The one thing that drives me to borderline insanity is when I am not able to write. If you count the tiny amount of recent posts on this blog, you will probably understand why I am contemplating to check myself into a mental institution notice how my life must have gotten in the way of blogging.

My professional life that is.

When I was a stay at home mom for 7 months, I was a good mom, prepared home cooked meals every night, maintained a relatively clean house, did more laundry than a freakin' hotel, did grocery shopping, did fun things with the children, blogged and probably did more than I can remember right now.

I still do those things (minus blogging, obviously) but since I've added three 6-hour work days (which is not bad at all, I know) I feel like I am a monkey on a trapeze, juggling balls the size of a small continent.

By the time the children are in bed (which is somewhere between 7 PM and 8 PM) I am completely exhausted. The husband and I than start to clean the house. And by the time we cleared the couch of Monkey's toys and we can actually sit on it without piercing a duplo doll in our behinds, it is time for Roo's last feeding and.. than for bed.

And being the PR and communications professional 3 days a week is so very different from being a fun mom, I think my personality might rip.

It's just been two weeks. I know it will get better. I know we will find a new balance between life at home and work (and hopefully find our social life again. If you happen to see it, will you tell it to get back here?)

Being able to write down my thoughts and letting you know I have not forgotten my favorite blogs, made me feel better already.

I am not sad, I am not worried, I am not stressed out. I am just a tad overwhelmed at this point and I miss being able to write (and read). Which I guess, is normal.

The cool thing is, I discovered I can still talk with adults! But I don't think my colleagues appreciated the naughty chair I introduced. The reward chard with smiley stickers did not do well either.

(kidding, kidding)

And than for a totally random photo that has nothing to do with all of the above:

But cute, isn't it.

Cognitive dissonance

It's a good thing we bought him this little drum set.. because...

he's enjoying musical instruments...
and he's especially into drums right now...
and we're answering his needs to be musical...
and it's good for his feeling and understanding of rhythm and music..

But most of all. IT'S LOUD. And it's keeping my brain from functioning. Not that my brain was functioning, clearly. What was I thinking.

The day I decided I wasn't a city girl after all

Yep folks, the reason why I haven't been blogging. We bought a Dutch farm in the province of Groningen. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to feed the chickens and polish my wooden shoes.

Anyway.

The real reason for my absence, is that I came down with a nasty flu a week ago. Two days after Monkey had gotten sick by the same thing. Monkey recovered with the speed of light, it took my old body a week. I'm feeling better, but still tired.

Getting this flu was one of those "be careful what you wish for" situations. Last Monday was supposed to be my first day back at work since the beginning of my maternity leave. I wished for a miracle so I would not have to go to work. And within hours, my feverish miracle arrived.

I'm going to give work another try tomorrow. Am I excited? I will be at 3 PM, when I'm going home to my children again.

My little farm boy.