1, 2, 3... Happy birthday Monkey

From birth:

To your first year...

After your second birthday...

And now your third.

Happy birthday little guy.

I love you.
Mom

(and I am trying to bake a ROCKET cake for you. Which is a challenge.)

PS: I promise I'll post the answers of the truth/ lie game this weekend! AFTER the party (and AFTER baking the cake, my attempt to be super mom might fail here.). You can still play!

How well do YOU know ME?

Let's play a game. One I've played on this blog once or twice before. I give you truth and lies. You decide what is true and what isn't. I will announce the winner (most correct answers) AND the answers on my blog tomorrow.... A PRICE you say? Gosh. The winner gets to enjoy the glory of winning! Hooray! Let's play!

1. We spend approximately 535 dollars a year on bananas.
2. We spend approximately 1260 dollars a year on Dutch cheese.
3. I do not have my drivers license, but I'm taking lessons.
4. My grandma used to walk on wooden shoes.
5. My favorite place to study is the bath tub.
6. I had a boyfriend who named his penis Brutus.
7. I am working on a cookbook.
8. We would like to have four or five children.
9. When my Apple Powerbook dies, I will get a Windows notebook.
10. I am thinking of joining a choir.
11. I ride my bike to work, even when it rains.
12. On our bedroom wall you'll find five photo frames, each carrying the same photo of the same woman (not me).

The leaning tower of pizza

.. as Monkey likes to call it. The Birthday Machine episode of Little Einsteins (in English) has spiked Monkeys interest in towers.

We got a few it's-ok-to-cut-the-pictures-out-books from a local recycle store. One of the books caught my attention because it had a few of the world's famous buildings; like the Eiffel tower.. and the Tower of Pisa. (These recycle stores are a great concept; people GIVE their old stuff and people who are sentenced to a 'work punishment' work there and sell it. That way people can recycle, buy cheap things and the 'employees' can use the experience as a way to start a career. They sell anything from books to clothes to a drum set Monkey almost made me buy.)

But what is more fun than to watch a tower or see a tower? OK, besides CLIMBING one.. BUILDING one!

Monkey building a (square) tower of Pisa.

Concentrated Very. Concentrated. "Mommy, those towers are beautiful too." "Yes, they were beautiful honey" he -thankfully- left it at that. Making a round tower out of Duplo... mmmm Maybe Roo can help? The little doll stroller was her birthday gift from us. She loves to sit IN it, while Monkey races her through the living room. The salesman promised me my grandchildren can sit in it too. I rather not think about that QUITE yet. Thankyouverymuch.

I rather build a tower out of pizza's and create a real tower of Pizza. Not a bad idea. Hmmm.

What you NEED to know BEFORE you have a second child

I tip toe slowly out of the living room, avoiding any stepping on toys, squeaking doors... praying that they don't notice me.

Monkey: MOMMY!!!!!!!

Pretend I didn't hear that.. and continue tiptoeing while I know better than that...

Monkey: MOMMM! What are you going to do?

Me: Mommy is going to go to the toilet. I'll be right back.

Me: Stay here.

Takes sprint down hall, opens door with the speed of light, toilet lid up, open jeans, jeans down, underwear down, sit.

Monkey: I'm coming TOO!!!!

Roo (crawling): Da, da, da, da

Me: Please stay in the living room, mommy needs to use the bathroom. Preferably alone.

Monkey: I don't want to be ALONE!!!

Roo (cathcing up with us): Da, da, da, da

Me: Guys, PLEASE, mommy needs some privacy.

Both children now almost in toilet with me.

Me: I'm closing the door. I'll be done in a SECOND.

Close door.

Monkey: WHHEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH. Mommy is GONE!!!!

Me: It's not even LOCKED.

I open the door.

Me: What is it Monkey?

Monkey (louder): WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: Mommy said, I'll be done in a SECOND. Some privacy, PLEASE!!

Monkey (crying real tears): I don't want to be ALONEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Roo enters toilet, plays with toilet paper

Me (to Monkey): OK, come here.

Me (to Roo): Don't eat the toilet paper honey.

Monkey: I want to sit on your lap!

Me: But honey...

Roo (pulling on my jeans): Da, da, da, da,

Monkey: WEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Roo (hugging the toilet) : Da, da, da, da,

Me: Oh for goodness sake, common than

Monkey jumps on my lap, kicking Roo accidentally in her face with his feet.

Roo: WEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: This isn't happening.

Me: Please Roo, stop crying.

Roo: WEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: OK, come here honey.

Roo on lap. Monkey on lap. Me on toilet.

And it wouldn't have been HALF as bad if I just needed to do a #1.

Happy birthday little Roo

I can't comprehend that it's already been an entire year since we first met...

and now you're a part of us and I can't imagine my life without you

and I'm not the only one who thinks so

Happy birthday little Roo bear.

Love always,
Mom.

Human genes evolve with emancipation of women

Have I got breaking news for you! Recent research shows, human genetics are evolving along with the emancipation of women.

Even though human genes normally evolve at a slow speed; behavior studies of young children now show a significant change to equality of women. And even tipping over to the other side of the traditional man-woman role scale.

It is unknown what this genetic change will mean for both men and women on a political, social, and economic and global level.

Scientist may fear a new anti-emancipation movement to stop the world's human gene pool from permanently adopting emancipation and equality of women. A movement that originates from the 19th century.

But the question is: can it be stopped?

Photos of the studies show a male study object in a new non-traditional role:

While the female object;

barely looks up from her newspaper baby book to lift her feet.

Researchers involved in this project are certain the ability to read while others clean the house was typical male behavior. More research is necessary; and the study objects above have both agreed to participate in following experiments of this mind blowing research.

You asked...

Thank you guys for your comments on my Delurking Day post. It moved me to get so many awesome comments. You rock!

A couple of you took the bribe I offered, and asked me a question. Here are the questions they asked & my replies.

The wonderful RM from The Dorsal Stream (in case you're not reading: go read it and make it a regular stop. He writes awesome, smart AND funny!)

If you suddenly had the time and resources you needed to start to make whatever you want, what
would you make? And what would you do first?
To be honest, I have been in "idea" mode as I call it for a couple of months now. Every other day I call my husband FreezeM and say "I HAVE AN IDEA!!!" Most of the ideas, which seem like THE idea when it popped in my head, aren't really all that when I think them through. OR they already exist, and I have to admit I am not a creative mastermind after all. One idea that stuck and is on my list to act on is a cookbook. I actually started writing it already.

But if I had all resources I would follow up on a idea I have for a TV-show first. I'm convinced my idea would be a hit. But at this time, I have NO resources and no nothing of the business.

After that, I would finish my cookbook.

And after that... well I have some ideas that could work on the internet. With all resources, I would follow through on some!

Or maybe I would follow up on the internet ideas first...

Is that answering your question AT ALL?

A regular sweet commenter called Anya, asked two questions:

1. How do you stay so thin after two kids?
What, can you ask that again? I didn't get that? Seriously. Breastfeeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding. I had lost more than the pregnancy weight before Monkey and Roo were six months old. Now that I've stopped extracting milk, I am very slowly coming back to my pre-pregancy weight. I was actually a bit too thin, to my taste. I don't have a diet, and I snack every evening. I do believe our quasi vegetarian/ vegan diet helps and the fact that I eat many (MANY) small meals and snacks during the day instead of 3 big meals.

2. Why do you guys want to emigrate to the US?

Because in the US, colleagues don't give kisses as a New Year's greeting like they do here! Seriously; the US feels like home. It doesn't make sense. Though the space, the culture, the beauty of the nature, architecture, wildlife are things I enjoy very much in the US. I miss those in The Netherlands. But, among other important things, social security and employment is a lot better in The Netherlands than in the US, I know that. Even though Europe is were our house stands; the US feels like home. Why do I like strawberry ice cream? Because I do. I hope I somewhat answered your question!

Thanks again for your comments. Not just on Delurking Day, but always. It really means the world to me!

It is your turn... (don't be embarrased to take my bribe)

Today Hello world it's ME becomes Hello world it's YOU!

(image design by the lovely Aimee)

I like to join my blog friend Chris in Delurking Day and see who is reading about my daily life! That's were you come in!

Regular commenters & lurkers.. please leave a little note to say HI. If you wish to remain anonymous; that is OK! You don't have to give me your name, e-mail or web address.

Just say..... hi!

Now, for those of you who need to be BRIBED into doing this (it works for my kids, I might as well try it on you :) you may - anonymously, lurkers, regulars, everyone - ask me in the comments anything you'd ever wanted to ask me and I will answer your questions on this blog tomorrow. ONE condition: my mother AND my MIL read this blog. Well, I would be embarrassed to answer any too intimate questions. You get the point.

Now go on, it's your turn!!

Breathe. Walk. Walk fast.

Very fast.

From here to my room.

I can do this.

"Hi Edward! How have you been?" walk by.. please.. NO, don't STOP Ed, keep walking. "Thanks Ed, Happy New Year to you too" I have to keep this tempo up.

Escalators or elevator... escalator it is...

Hey that's Maria. What is she wearing! It's minus 10 degrees C and she's dressed like she's in freakin' Barbados. "Oh thanks Maria, happy 2009 to you too!"

.... up up up... I like these escalators... better than being stuck in a crowded little elevator with people graving coffee...

So far so good.....

OH NO there is Richard. Walk faster now...faster... faster.. "Happy 2009 Richard ..." try not to run... look back "Yep always in a hurry, you know me."

Seriously, every year it's the same story..

I need coffee.

There's Elliot. Look down. No. Look at iPod. Accelerate. Can I ignore him... oh that's all kinds of rude. OH SHOOT. He saw me. "Thanks Elliot, best wishes to you too.."

Almost there... I wish I was home.

Here comes Ellie. "Hi Ellie" Happy 2009 to you too" "Did you enjoy your holidays?"

In my room. I made it.

Oh shoot, who's that. "Yeah, sure come in". Leave me alone. "Hi Bratt" My room is my safe haven, get out. No. He'll do it. Oh God NO. "Happy 2009" get arm out, reach forward.. give hand...hold straight. Create distance. Step back. Oh fuck he's is not getting the hint. Or he is and he chooses to ignore. Fuck. No.

No. No. No.

Yuck. He did it.

My first 2009 colleague New Year's kiss. This is going to be a long day.

The moos and woos of my rack

All my husband will remember from this post is that it's the first time I actually refer to our sex life on my blog. Sorry hon.

ANYWAY.

I am FINISHED with extracting milk. (Oh hello there; I'm talking about my breasts and nursing today. Sit down and try not to stare at them. My breasts.).

I've used the pump at least 500 times. Extracting every morning for Roo's cereal, extracting every night to keep the milk level up, extracting every time I came back home from work. Getting out that plastic Avent pump. Lift my shirt, my bra. Pump and wait until 'it gets going'. And then watch the little plastic bottle fill up, while I pump until the muscles in my hand started to cramp. Disappointed when there isn't enough to feed a baby ANT for a day, but HALLELUJAH, when the milk comes up to the little line that marked 200 ML (6.5 OZ). WHOOOAAAAAAAA. Like men after a day of fishing, catching the BIG FISH. Holding it up and taking he picture! LOOK.AT.THAT.

I AM SUPER MILK MOM. MOOOO.

Ecstatic when I screw the lid on the bottle and write TWO HUNDRED ML and the date on it.

Hold it up again. Smile. TWO HUNDRED. WHAZZAAAAAP.

Putting the bottle in the fridge, next to about 40 other bottles.

FORTY. An entire village in Africa could live a WEEK from my milk fridge.

Anyway, done with that.

What they don't tell you when you start breastfeeding, is that your breasts won't be yours while you breastfeed. Sure, they'll still accompany you wherever you go, and they will do their utmost best to fill up your bra. (Enjoy the latter while it lasts.)

They won't tell you that any sexual connection with your breasts will be gone during that period. While you may have been hunting for seductive bra's and sexy bustiers, no longer. When your breasts are your baby's primary source of nutrition, all that is sensual disappears the minute your fresh, still red & wet newborn finds his way to your nipples.

First, they get blown up by gallons of milk (blessing you with an overzealous cleavage). Next, they are thoroughly humiliated by obligatory nursing bras. In time, they won't be able to handle the shame and shrink away into what may at best be described as teabags.

My husband knows I will bite his head of when he so much as GLANCES at them. "Don't even THINK about it!" "THEY'RE ROO's, not YOURS!" I'll growl at him.

Any attempt of approaching them in a sexual kind of way, has banned sex out of the house for at least 24 hours.

There's only one human in the house who can set her little teeth (5 now) in my nipples;

She only bit me 2 or 3 times, but that was enough. Thankyouverymuch.

When Roo was born, I made a deal with her: nursing for one year. No formula. I still plan on nursing her for the remaining days to her first birthday this coming January 19th.. and for ever how long we'll both enjoy it after her birthday. But I'm guessing now, that will be days, maybe weeks but definitely not months.

I've thoroughly enjoyed every minute of nursing, both Roo and Monkey (almost 10 months). Despite everything written above, it has been the best experience ever. I'm proud of Roo and myself to have done this for a year. But the pump gets stored today. And I am looking forward to the day my breasts are mine again and I'll go shopping for lingerie. The girls deserve a new wardrobe.

My new favorite photo

Happy weekend!

Happy New Year & why Google scares me

A video message from Monkey & Roo:

Happy New Year everyone!

How did you celebrate New Year's eve?

We spend it with friends. It has been AGES since we attended a New Year's party. The last few times, I've been either 8 months pregnant OR nursing a baby. Both not typical ingredients for wild New Year parties. But this year we decided on letting the children stay with their grandparents. It was a giant step for us (being overly slightly concerned parents). But it had to be done.

OK. I'll be honest. The grandparents live a whooping 5 minute walk from where the party was.They could probably here us cheering at midnight.

BUT STILL we were at a party.

The friends who hosted the party are still in the non kids - clubbing/ party phase. Actually all the guests were. Which led to an enormous amount of alcohol served. And I just had to conclude that we can't keep up with that anymore. The mojito's and champagne were a little bit too much.

Than someone made me encouraged me to play Brain Age on a Nintendo DS. It tests your brain and eye skills. I say pure torture. My age was 40 after just ONE glass of Rose wine (and as you know I have been 29 for two years now). It's a cruel game and I would not be surprised if it's used at Guantanamo Bay right between shock therapy and non sleep treatments.

At one point I decided to stop drinking my the mojito, and 'accidentally' left it on a table between a gazillion other glasses. But the hostess found my drink and handed it back. I lost it again (my memory sucks, Nintendo knows exactly how much). But she kept recovering the mojito. That's what friends are for, huh.

Anyway, Google was very helpful:

Stop squinting, that's bad for your eyes. Let me get your glasses. Here you are:

Seriously mister Google, you are freaking me out.

But I've found my own cure: For breakfast I baked eggs, put them on a fresh French bread with a little bit of butter, topped with fresh made tomato sauce with onions & mushrooms, slices of avocado,and a few pieces of yellow bell pepper.

Anyway, may 2009 bring you little hangovers, but everything your heart desires. And above all: may it be joyful and fun!