HOLD YOUR BREATH, I REPEAT, DO NOT BREATHE

Every thriller movie has a scene where the killer, monster, predator is looking for the main character (to eat him, kill him or whatever unpleasant things) and the main character is hiding and tries not to make a sound. And while you watch a scene like that, you probably hold your breath and forget about your popcorn for a very brief second? And than the main character does something stupid like sneeze or burp which reveals his hiding place to the predator. And than the running & hiding game starts all over again?

The predator........Lisa
The something that makes the (loud) sound that alerts the predator.... Tim
The main character praying for silence.... Mommy.

Tim has been pretty good with helping me get Lisa to sleep. But sometimes? On that crucial moment when I put the little one in her crib and I move away trying not to make a sound (really, I stop breathing) and than I hear Tims footsteps coming closer .. and closer.. and closer... and than the door opens, with any luck hits a piece of furniture and he shouts " HELLLLLOOOOO'S " (cause he doesn't say just one hello, but he says "HELLOOOOOOS".)

Can't help but love him, but OH MAN, I AM TRYING TO GET THE BABY TO SLEEP.

Anyways, I have decided on the nicknames. Thanks for playing everyone!

Lisa named herself by being basically attached to me for the last 24 hours. I named her Roo. Like in Kangaroo. You get the picture. And Tim will be nicknamed Monkey.

I'll use those names as of next post, and will remove their real names from this website as soon as I have a moment (that will be somewhere in 2057).

Anyway, I thought Christina Aquilera asked 1 million $ for her baby pictures and JLO will get like 5 million $ for her twins, I should sell my baby pictures too. A Dutch magazine about kids & parenting came to photograph:

Just kidding. The magazine interviewed me a while ago, because they're writing an article about daycare versus a family member who comes take care of the kids while mommy and daddy are at work. My MIL usually comes over to take care of Tim and Lisa (soon Monkey and Roo, I'm just practicing here.. :) when I am at work. That's her back on the photo. Hi MIL!

And this week the magazine came to our house and made the photo. When I have it, and it's nice, I'll publish it here. And that's my 1 million $, because that's all I'm gaining.

We can't all be rich and famous. There just ain't enough rehab facilities in the world.

So, who watches Animal Planet?

FreezeM and I woke up TWICE last night because of a weird sound. I think it was located just outside our bedroom doors to the garden. I'm thinking it was an animal, like a reptile. But I have NO idea.

It sounded almost exactly like when you very slowly deflate a balloon. You know, the high pitched sound. We heard it a couple of times. We did not bother to get up and look. But we did share a few giggles and a "what IS that??".

So, our options:

Either, there was an animal in our garden making that sound.

OR the neighbors were playing with balloons.

OR it was a hoarse Dolphin that got abducted by aliens and dropped in our garden.

OR FreezeM and I were both hallucinating and giggling about it, at the same time.

I am totally going to name this creature after the person who can explain this mystery.

Censuring lullabies since 2007

Do you know the lullabies by heart? Or did you have to Google the lyrics before you could sing them to your baby?

I'll admit, I forgot the lyrics of 99 percent of the lullabies and children's songs. So singing for Tim has been a challenge, until I bought this CD with a small lyrics book of almost 60 songs!

But that's not where I want to go with this post. Ninety percent of the songs on the CD are really awesome and great fun for both parents and kid. However, there are some really old songs on there with medieval and quit shocking lyrics. I don't actually remember them from my childhood. I think they made it on the CD because they used to be popular a long time ago.

Example one: Creating little players
Joepie, Joepie has arrived
took my little girlfriend away
but I won't cry for it
I'll get another anyway
tralalalalalala
tralalalalalala
Please tell me, I am not the only one who thinks this song is sending out a wrong message.

Example two with the title: Morianne black as coal
Doesn't the title say enough? Besides the song title, it's not actually a racist song. The song was written somewhere in the eighteen hundreds where I am sure slavery and racism was normal in some countries. However, I don't think this song really has to be on a otherwise so cheerful and fun CD? It's wrong in too many ways.

Example three: Dead frogs
There were seven little frogs,
in a farmers pond,
the pond was frozen
the frogs almost dead
they didn't quack, they didn't croak
from hunger and despair,
there were seven little frogs,
in a farmers pond
This is just cruel! I don't like frogs at all, but this is just weird.

I am not the only one translating Dutch lullabies. This website has a lot of translated lullabies. But they made an error on one of the songs, leading to a very peculiar sentence:

Farmer, tell me, how is my cock?
Farmer, tell me, how are my chicken?
Farmer, tell me, how is my cock?
Don't you think they have nice feathers
isn't their color beautiful?
Maybe they should have used 'rooster' to make it sound less dirty.

Perhaps we should stick to Sesamestreet cd's.

Random Sunday: migraine, bad mommy, help!

I've been down with a migraine Friday and Saturday. It has been a while since I last had a migraine. It's my weak spot. When I'm very tired, too stressed, too busy, or haven't had appropriate meals; I'm bound to get a migraine. It's always a lesson to take good care of myself. Thank God for my awesome mother in law for coming over to take care of Tim.

The good thing about migraines, is that they disappear faster than they come. Last night, a 8 PM it was magically gone. So today I actually had a great day! I enjoyed playing with Tim. When the rain was gone, we took him to the playground. It's a play ground especially for toddlers. Mini slide and other mini stuff. But Tim did manage to fell on his head after sliding off one of the playground attributes. We were sitting like a feet out of reach to catch him (that will teach me) and I saw him fell backwards, on the back of his head. It was not really THAT high (remember: everything was really mini). The image is stuck in my mind. And constantly replaying in slow motion. Bad mommy. Bad bad mommy.

I need your help! We're celebrating my mom's birthday this Saturday. I have absolutely NO idea what to get her. She doesn't have a wish list. So I need YOUR advice! What would you give your lovely mother for her ALMOST sixty (59) birthday? Did you give your mother something she absolutely loved? Tell me! I need ideas.

Monday is lurking around the corner. I can see it. I'm off to close my eyes and pretend this weekend will last forever.

Character spring cleaning

Is there anything you would like to change in your character? Something you wish you could just sweep away and replace with a personality trait you've always wanted?

There is a personality trait I would like to have. FreezeM (husband) and I were watching an episode of Oprah. I can't remember the topic of the show. But I do remember the 'experts' saying something about true happiness and being happy for people who experience something nice. Their point: you can't be fully happy, when you can't be happy for others. That thought stuck with me.

When I like someone, I can be more thrilled about their happiness, than they are. I am all about celebrating the happy stuff people experience. But when I don't like someone, and they experience something really cool? I don't like it. I don't hate them for it. It doesn't spoil my day. I don't even give it much thought. But I just don't enjoy seeing it.

My guess, I'm not abnormal (I hope). But I wish I could be more wise and be above those thoughts. Like I imagine FreezeM being above those thoughts. To be sincerely pleased for someone getting a lucky break, even though I don't like them. I imagine there are even people out there, who don't dislike anyone. Who are just neutral about them. For me, that would be an awesome character trait to gain.

Sweep away!

9.5, BBQ and search queries that make you go...

Thank you all for your "TEN" thoughts for my presentation/ defending of my final paper. However it did not help. I got a 9.5. I know I should be thrilled. But I was SO close of getting a 10, I am a tad disappointed. They did like my presentation though. And upped my initial 9 with 0.5 points.

Being depressed with my 9.5 (I'm such a dork). I looked at my web traffic and got intrigued with some of the search queries people have used to come to my blog:

Dutch toilets
What a shitty search query.

real funny people
I am number 45 or so. Jeez.

It's me
And this is me. Nice to meet you.

Pregnant breasts
I learn something new everyday. I should get my breasts knocked up, so they'll get a little bigger!

World's little breasts girls
Oh, come on. They are not THAT small.

People who got to see the roman gladiators fight
Are dead. Sorry to disappoint you.

Excuse me sweetie how you doing
Fine, thank you. How are you?

Anyways, yesterday we had our first BBQ in our garden. Salmon. It was just perfect.

Plus we had a lot of fun.

OK, as number 45 on the funny people list, this is all the fun you're going to see. I blame Google.

When will you start giving him normal food?

That what someone asked me me recently. Referring to the food we give Tim.

We all got our own ways of bringing up our child. Some things are considered normal, some things are considered weird. The food we give Tim is considered unusual. At least by some.

Tim has been getting organic home cooked food ever since he was six months. Along with breastfeeding, that is. We started with home made pear purees and baby rice. Than we went on to vegetable purees and soups. And now? He eats what we eat and has a preference for fish.

Everything went smoothly, and I am very grateful for this book: Contented little baby book of weaning by Gina Ford. If I remember correct, it was recommended by Mrs. Mogul.

I recommend it too. The process of weaning went perfectly. The book also inspired me to solely home cook everything from scratch and organic. And before that book I thought vegetable stock grew on trees in small cubes. OK. Exaggerating a little bit.

I wasn't aware of the whole organic food market either. I didn't realize there were chemicals left on normal foods. I also didn't realize that organic food (not all but many) taste a lot better than the 'normal' variant in the supermarket. And organic in The Netherlands means, that if you buy dairy or meat, the animals were treated well too. So that's a big plus. For a big price, I admit.

A few weeks ago a colleague commented on the organic food: "his stomach won't get used to poisons, as soon as he eats normal food, his body won't be able to handle it". That bothered me. I would never disrespect any parent by saying something like that (unless they're actually hurting their child), This post is not mend to persuade anyone in transferring to organic food. Or to convince you to give your baby home cooked meals in stead of jars. Everyone should do what they think is right.

Everyone has their own normal. For Tim, this is his normal. I'd just wish people would respect that.

What choices did you make that people found odd or even frowned upon? How did you handle it?

You have SMALL breasts!

Breasts. I think the last time I talked about them was when I was pregnant and my boobage had grown into a size that was well into the alphabet. They were annoyingly heavy and I serious did not think they looked well on my body. Try finding a sexy bra for that size. Unless you think tents are sensual, there was just no way to make them look hot.

Before I was pregnant, they weren't tiny either. Often men would look at my breasts, before they noticed the breasts came with a body, a head and a actual person. Even though that annoyed me and made me feel cheap, I never had the nerve to comment "The eyes are up here, pervert".

But men's eyes stay pretty focused on my eyes nowadays. Because the boobs? Are gone. Pregnancy and breastfeeding for little over ten months (the breastfeeding, not the pregnancy thankgod) did the trick. I was in denial until FreezeM and I went to Victoria Secret on our last morning in D.C.

I asked an employee if she could convert my European size to a US size. She didn't know how, so she measured me.

V.S. girl: You're a 34 B.
Me: Are you sure?
V.S. girl: .....
Me: I though I had DD. I guess European sizes are different.
V.S. Ooh you NO double D. You have SMALL breasts.
Me: and you have a BIG butt.

She run of, to help one of her girlfriends. Whatever. Sure small breasts. The last time I had small breast? I was 12.

But I listened to her and got a few B's. I went of to the fitting room, where there was a line. And there the employee was again. Still busy with her girlfriend who just popped her head out of the dressing room.

Girlfriend (all smiles): I cannot believe it!
V.S. girl: I know!
V.S. girl (too girlfriend, loud): Girlfriend! welcome to the big sizes club!

Than she turned and smiled politely to me.

Sure, crush a girls' heart who just lost three cup sizes.

(Oh and European cup sizes? The same as US. Shut up.)

Perfect potato balls

The first Monday after an almost two week holiday is painful. I have no other words for it. But when I came home tonight, my lovely husband was cooking spaghetti and tossing a salad. As we speak - so to speak - he is making a tomato soup for tomorrow's dinner. He even showed off a melon scoop he bought to make 'perfect potato balls' to put in the soup. Impressive huh? Don't you just love a man who loves to cook?

Tim can't reach the kitchen counter yet. So he didn't help prepare dinner but showed me his love with a gazillion hugs and kisses. Here's our little angel:

(photos courtesy of my dad)

Frog part 2: I just heard RIBBIT

I've mentioned before that our garden is invested with frogs. Small frogs, big frogs, toads, green frogs, ugly frogs, fat frogs, polka dot frogs. To me, they are all disgusting. I'm just not a nature type of girl. I also don't like bugs, spiders and snakes. It's no surprise that I hate camping, but I love to soak in the hot tub of a luxury hotel. As long as I don't have to interact with God's icky creatures, I'm fine with them. But I will most likely never be a frog watcher or a toad warden.

But where am I going with this... A few days ago, I saw FreezeM (husband) taking a piece of carton. I thought he was about to clean up old paper. I did not see him getting a large glass and walking back to the hallway. You know where I'm going here, right? He did not say a thing until he caught a barely living frog. A frog inviting himself over. How rude is that.

For me, this was a a-ha moment. Why? Just a day before our trip to DC, FreezeM and I lay in bed. After 15 minutes or so of trying to fall a sleep, this is what happened:

A - probably green - something: RIBBIT
Nadine: did you hear that?
FreezeM (sleepy): hrm hrm... what?
Nadine (panic): there's a frog in our bedroom!!
FreezeM: what?
Nadine: there is a frog in our bedroom!!
FreezeM: how do you know?
Nadine: I just heard RIBBIT
FreezeM: you must have been sleeping
Nadine: It was a frog. In our bedroom.
FreezeM: Really, get some sleep. You probably imagined it.

Men.

I listened very careful for a few minutes, but there was nothing but silence. My 'hero' fall asleep again. And I wasn't going to be the one catching the croaking creature. I managed to fall asleep. Now I'm pretty sure hallway frog was the same as bedroom frog. If they can live for two weeks without water that is.

Anyways, with the frogs playing inside, today we thought we could eat outside. For the very first time, since we live here. I just love the garden. Even though it has no flowers (yet), is a bit of a mess and about a gazillion frogs call it home.

Happy -ribbit- Mothers Day!